New Class: Geomancer

  It should be obvious that not all magic users are "Magic-Users." Formal training and spells named after great wizards aren't that commonplace. Sure, the emperor's Inquisitor's seem to be everywhere these days, searching for demon worshipers (supposedly) and (supposed) seditionists, but not all citizens with the ability to perform magic want to be Inquisitors, and not all magically talented beings are imperial citizens. Some individuals don't even consider what they're doing to be Magic, with a big m. Instead they see their abilities as gifts of spirits, or gods, or just natural abilities that if you told them no one else could perform they would be shocked.

  The Gnoll-King Cold-With-Sun was the most (in)famous of these types of base magicians because of his combined use of magic with a rare charisma not seen in many beast men to build an army large enough to take the Empire's keep at Spaw'ra in the Bone Plains. Cold-With-Sun's forces raided as far as the shores on the far side of the eastern desert and stole many holy artifacts, hiding behind great sandstorms, and removing the power of local temples to heal their congregations and passersby.

  Rumour has it that a Red Dragon from mountains that separate the Bone Plains and the Empire proper has recently taken a violent interest in the Spaw'ran keep, and whether this development proves good or ill is yet to be seen.

New class for Old School D&D inspired games based on the Final Fantasy Tactics Geomancer Job Class.

Geomancer
HD as Specialist
Saves and XP as Magic-User
Max Level: 12

This is kind of what I've always wanted instead of the D&D Druid.

Geomancers get 9 spell like abilities, one at each level starting with the one that makes the most sense for their homeland. Upon reaching 12th level the Geomancer has the option of increasing the power of his spells once more or attaining the extremely powerful Sinkhole ability.

Geomancy rules
To Hit: WIS check
Whenever a 6 is rolled on a damage die the target must make a save vs spells or suffer the spell's Special effect. Any additional 6s rolled add a cumulative -2 penalty to the save.

Geomancy progression
Level 1: Starting regional based spell
Level 2: New spell
Level 3: New spell
Level 4: All Geomancy now does 2d6 dmg
Level 5: New spell
Level 6: New spell
Level 7: All Geomancy now does 3d6 dmg
Level 8: New spell
Level 9: New spell
Level 10: All Geomancy now does 4d6 dmg
Level 11: New spell
Level 12: Sinkhole OR All Geomancy now does 5d6 dmg

Spell Descriptions

Torrent: Attack with the power of running water. Those who live near large bodies of water start with this, the pirates that sail the Narnak Blue use this spell to swamp the ships of their enemies and knock the crewman into the sea. Special: drown with globe of water surrounding creature's head. Save means unconscious.

Tanglevine: Attack with the power of plants. Vines sprout and attack the target. Special: target is held immobile as the spell Entangle.

Tremor: Attack with the power of stone. Causes the earth to spew forth missiles of rock and stone to pelt the target. Special: Target is completely encased in stone and petrified.

Wind Slash: Attack with the power of wind. This attack can be used one of two ways: as blades that sear and cut the target with a Special bonus of showing the target so they move at half speed, OR as a giant buffeting gust that has a chance of knocking the target down.

Quicksand: Attack with the power of standing water. Use swamp or Marsh water similarly to Torrent except this spell is more focused on pulling the target under the water. Special: chance for target to be poisoned or diseased by fetid water, penalty to save against this if target has already suffered wounds.

Storm: Attack with a working combination of the elements. The storm spell comes in a number of varieties, but they all have one thing in common. They all combine the power of wind with another element to surround, and at times, consume their victims. Ample amounts of both elements must be in attendance as Storm uses lots of both.

Flameblast: Attack with the power of fire. Some fire source must be present, like a torch or campfire, if used at night. The sun is sufficient during the day time unless completely obscured by clouds. Special: target is on fire and takes continual fire damage.

Mama Surge: from deep beneath the earth mama surges upwards to consume your foes. If not used near an apparent magma flow or active volcano this spell permanently creates an active volcano. Use carefully. Special: Target is consumed by lava and dies immediately.

Sinkhole: This optional 12th level spell opens a rift in space-time devouring fragments or all of your foe. Sinkhole does 6d6 damage. If all ones are rolled the Geomancer loses control of the hole and it grows to consume all creation. DM fiat on how much time is given to say goodbye to loved ones.  Special: Target is consumed utterly as the spell Disintegrate.

After writing this whole thing I realize now this class is very much like the Avatar cartoon.

Lee Loves Action Movies

Everyone who knows me knows I love two things: 1) Lists and 2) Action Movies. Thus, I will create a list right here of my favorite action films of the last 10 years. Action films are usually the butt of the joke because most people just have a vision of a shitty car chase and a bad one-liner uttered by a washed up old actor. People see Bruce Willis now in 2013 and see a sarcastic, bloated, uninterested old man doing paycheck cameo roles in movies like GI Joe: Retaliation while forgetting that for the past 25 years, he has been one of the biggest actors in the world and played arguably the most beloved action film character of all time, John McClane in the Die Hard movies. Just because A Good Day To Die Hard (which I really enjoyed) was clearly a case of Well, Why The Hell Not Make Another One, We Don't Have Anything Better To Do, it doesn't take away the fact that those first three movies are all-time greats. There are always a slew of bad action movies in theaters and on video store shelves (oh, wait...) but there are also a whole slew of god-awful dramas and comedies and every other genre. Action films just have a stigma that they will never be able to get past. There will never be a best action film category at the Academy Awards* and as much as films like Gladiator, The Hurt Locker, and Braveheart are considered action films, I want to see a movie like 13 Assassins win an Academy Award so that they have to show a 15 second clip where dozens of people are being decapitated and lying in a pile of bodies and blood. I am a complete homer for the aforementioned one-liners and car chases, it's something I loved as a kid, then became too cool for when I was a teenager and then became enamored with again as I got older. The most recent example was Lockout, which I just watched a few weeks ago, with Guy Pearce sneering & snarking his way through a space prison to rescue the president's daughter from the world's most dangerous criminals, which is pretty much the most awesome plot for a movie in recent memory. With all that said, let the list commence (in no particular order):

KILL BILL VOL. 1 - Almost all of my favorite directors are the ones who love movies and love making movies that harken back to their favorites. I can't think of anything better than getting paid millions of dollars to make a movie with your childhood idols that you wrote and directed about whatever genre you're obsessed with at the moment. Quentin Tarantino is such a director. He created a world with these movies where he could incorporate all of his favorite things about the genre and make something completely original while being an homage to its predecessors. The final battle between Beatrix Kiddo and the Crazy 88 in the House Of Blue Leaves is operatic. I think when QT jerks off, he closes his eyes and thinks about the 5,6,7,8's and finishes when Lucy Liu gets scalped.

FAST 5/FAST 6 - While the future of the franchise is in question with the death of Paul Walker, it's hard to not see the last two films as two of the best of the series, if not two of the best action films in recent memory. They did something smart with this series; they moved beyond them being "car movies" and just turned them into solid, if absolutely insane and ridiculous action movies. A "family" of rich, globe-trotting criminals chasing bad guys in airplanes and tanks and trains and, of course, cars turned out to be a pretty great conceit. This franchise, even with the loss of Walker, could conceivably go on forever and if so, count on me being there opening day for Fast 12 in about ten years.

BELLFLOWER - This is a great movie that is not necessarily an action film, but it has action film DNA running through its blood. The first half is almost a romantic drama about two buddies who love their apocalypse-prepped Frankenstein monster of a car, Medusa, and the various weapons they've built to prepare themselves for a Mad Max-like apocalypse. A girl gets involved and the second half turns into a nightmare of violence, blood and sex that is admittedly pretty haunting.

SHOOTER - Bob Lee Swagger is one of my favorite literary characters and is played here by Mark Wahlberg who is much younger than the character in the book. He's an Army sniper on the wrong end of a conspiracy and left for dead in the Middle East but returns to live in solitude in the mountains with his dog but is summoned to hypothetically surmise how the vice president might be assassinated only to be set up for the crime and forced to go on the run. The sniper is always an interesting character, akin to the samurai or the lone gunman of a thousand spaghetti westerns. A fantastic long distance shootout atop a mountain is the crowning achievement of this movie. There's nothing better than a wronged man shooting his way out, doing what he was trained to do and having it come back on those very people who turned their back on him. I think I'm getting a boner.

13 ASSASSINS - This is a movie that people who I have never heard express interest in action movies say they loved. God knows I love it when someone puts together a team and a hell of a team get assembled here, in order to fight back against an evil relative of the current Shogun. They convert a small town into a warzone by using elaborate traps and setups designed to help them fight the expected 70 soldiers traveling with the evil lord but are beset upon by over 200 armed soldiers. The entire second half of the film is the ensuing battle, where just about all of the 213+ participants end up in piles of blood, mud, limbs and bodies. This is the dirty, gritty, more brutal younger brother of the House Of Blue Leaves fight from Kill Bill. This movie is amazing.

PACIFIC RIM - I think I loved this movie more than most people. There are giant robots fighting giant sea monsters who sprout wings and fly into space and then fall back to earth. That's amazing. Watching Charlie Hunnam and the girl from The Brothers Bloom pilot a giant American robot that can pick up a battleship and swing it at something is pretty fantastic to watch. I heard people's complaints and nitpicks about the film but then I listened to Guillermo Del Toro explain how every single thing in the film has a purpose and has roots in something he wanted to honor and discounted all the complaints wholesale. They don't matter. Why worry about petty little things and little plot holes when you are rooting for humanity to destroy a race of aliens living in another dimension inside the earth who are sending monsters to destroy all of humanity? My favorite scene is when the Australians are about to be killed by a Kaiju when, who's that behind it, backlit & inert and hanging from some helicopters, it's Gipsy Danger motherfucker, about to kick some ass. This one is pure spectacle, people. Just sit back and enjoy it.

OLDBOY - I haven't seen the Spike Lee remake yet but I intend to. However, I doubt it will surpass the pure, visceral, nightmare of a film that Park Chan Wook made. It really is a nightmare, being imprisoned for 15 years and then set loose on a desperate wild goose chase for answers full of dead bodies, incest, and live squids being eaten. Korea does this kind of extremely violent revenge fantasy very well, and this is the middle film of Wook's Revenge Trilogy along with Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance and Lady Vengeance. The single shot action sequence in the hallway with a hammer is still one of the best sequences I have ever seen.

THE RAID: REDEMPTION - I don't need to say much about this one, everyone worth their salt has seen it and loved it. Gareth Evans made a masterpiece of family loyalties and pure carnage. When all the bullets run out, it turns to some of the most brutal hand-to-hand combat I've seen until there are piles of bodies lining the hallways of a slumlords high-rise. The second one looks like it's going to be even more crazy.

IP MAN - Donnie Yen plays the titular Ip Man, who is touted as teaching his signature style of martial arts, Wing Chun, to the likes of Bruce Lee. In this movie, he is a wealthy martial arts teacher beloved by his community in China until the Japanese invade and turn his people into slaves and force them to fight to prove their superiority to the Chinese. Humble, yet superior, Ip Man refuses to fight at first but soon is compelled to fight and inspires and carries his people on his back and beats the shit out of a whole bunch of Japanese guys. I don't like martial arts movies as much as some others but this one is great and Donnie Yen is a pure star.

BAD BOYS II - This is the granddaddy of ridiculous, over the top, one-liner spouting buddy cop action movies. At one point, there is a car chase where they drive a hummer down a mountain taking out hundreds of shanty homes. There is a car chase on a freeway in Miami that would've snarled traffic for weeks were it real life. If you sit back and suspend your knowledge of reality, you can enjoy this because it is insane and wonderful. Buddy cop movies are great, and Will Smith and Martin Lawrence are two of the all-timers when it comes to sarcastic banter in the middle of carnage. I hate Michael Bay but this is his masterpiece and the man knows how to make an amazing looking movie. Car chases and shootouts in Miami were made to be filmed by Bay. And remember, "We ride together. We die together. Bad boys for life."

Honorable Mentions - The last 3 Bond movies, the 4 Bourne movies, the last 2 Mission: Impossible movies, Hot Fuzz, The Dark Knight, Crank, The Transporter, Sunshine, Lockout, Dredd, Death Race, Drive, Smokin' Aces, Taken.

*Part of the reason for thinking about action films right now is the fact that theaters for the next few months will be flooded with marquee Academy Award contending films and I will be needing to balance my film diet with some action and excitement, not just watch droll, depressing, "important," Oscar bait.

Impermanence in the Face of Immortality

Do elves truly love all that lives or is that just a myth perpetuated by others, legend and lore, a false rumor on the table? Nothing is certain, but they do in a sense. It is true if you look into their eyes you can see a glimmer that'll tug on your heart, like starting into the eyes of an old flame. Love dead and buried beneath years of stacked dislike defensively built around the halcyon memories. Except elves don't fraternize, this love isn't personal. Not anymore, not this century.

All souls begin as elemental, ethereal beings with their highest physical form being elves. Elves aren't immortal, but for the other races they might as well be. Even the long lived Dwarves can't remember an instance of an elf dying of old age. Violent death is a different matter. Whenever an elf dies their soul is recycled into the birth pool of the lower races, and some is lost in the process. They believe all souls do this which might be true. When an elf kills it is to release the soul to try again at another life. They would tell you it isn't murder, and can be very snide about it honestly. Society isn't a fan of this.

Because of this connection across multiple incarnations of a soul whenever you lock eyes with an elf there's a 10% chance you've met before. Well, they've met you.

Roll d10 to find out how this elf knows you.

1. Former family member: Mother/father/brother/sister/cousin. You should hit them up for magical items. You were about to anyway.

2. Arch-enemy that would gladly see you die a thousand deaths. Except they're probably pretty busy right now. You've been gone a while now with the being dead and reborn as a lesser race and all. Where did those minions run off to? He'll have them kill you just wait right there.

3. Murderer: in a past life/lives this person killed you. You should ask why or just take revenge immediately, ya sociopath.

4. Lover: your soul-mate. Well one of them. That next Sex Point might be coming up real soon.

5. Adventuring comrade! Remember that time 3,489 years ago you slew that troll arch-mage with a broken arm, a dagger and a flock of bluejays? No? Well trust us, it was awesome. Immediately follows as Henchman.

6. You saved their life once, and now they owe you a favor. Make it good.

7. Rival! Can't resist a bet based on a competition between the two of you and they just happen to know where your mcguffin is, but if he beats you there he gets to keep it. This is when his crew shows up and they look equal to your party.

8. Business partner who's a little nervous about some old debts that hopefully you don't bring up and keeps patting the coin purse slung hidden under their shirt self consciously and looking at the door.

9. Drinking buddy that gave up the old haunts after you died and is now a traveling gourmand who can teach you hows to stretch your rations while also slightly improving their taste. Knows a ton about this location/region.

10. Roll Twice! And if you get family member/lover combo and don't want to roleplay some oedipal shit I understand. It'd be hilarious, but just re-roll I guess.

If you have any more leave a comment and we'll add it to the table.

Must succeed on an Intelligence Check or go insane with new influx of knowledge for 1d6 days. INT mod affects days spent insane.

Underwhelmed & Not All That Worried About It

"Underwhelmed" is the word I used to describe how I felt about the Robert Redford, 2014 Academy Award Nominated* film All Is Lost. It concerned one of our most beloved actors, one of the icons of the medium, surely one of the faces on the Mount Rushmore of American actors* whose face is the only one that appears in the film, a face that carried with it the entirety of the struggle of life and death and the toll it takes on a man. Robert Redford is a titan in the world of cinema, everything he touches turns to gold, for the most part, and will certainly add to his legacy with this film and his performance in it. However, the first word that came to mind once the credits roll, once that hand plunges into the ocean to grab him, was "Finally." It wasn't the worst way to spend two hours, I've seen worse films, hell, I probably saw worse films that week, but my enjoyment did not live up to the hype and I was glad to be getting on with my day. There was something about a rich, old, white man that looks like the Sundance Kid enjoying his retirement on a boat that cost more than my parents house that just didn't resonate with me. A craggy, all-American man facing certain death and looking mortality in the eye and persevering and rising above the odds and all the other things a man can do and must do in a movie like this didn't equate to greatness for me. That being said, it was a perfectly fine movie. I admire its originality and its different focus but I feel that having a movie with no dialog and only one actor in the entire thing was a gamble. However, it looks like the gamble paid off for Redford, the director JC Chandor, and the studio because I'm positive that it will win numerous awards in the next few months.

What I'm saying is, for a film that will be a certain Oscar lock, as well as a crowd favorite was underwhelming, in my opinion. I've seen many more less memorable movies before and since but this one stuck with me. I've thought about it and tried to like it more than I initially did but I didn't budge. In the long run, who gives a shit if I liked this movie or not? The answer is, nobody. Including me. However, I enjoy this time of year because a lot of quality films are released in an attempt to qualify for Academy Awards and I will see or at least try to see most of them. I like being able to talk knowledgeably about all these films when the time comes around to talk about the Oscars but this years slate has been unimpressive so far. I usually hate those people that say the movies are shitty every year** and I'm pretty sure this year will redeem itself for me, but so far, the contenders aren't living up to their potential. Gravity was excellent, however, it's grandeur and attention to detail will be lost if I ever try to watch it again on a television. This was yet another case of a film with not much plot and not much dialog relying on the performance of one of the most beloved actors of our time talking to herself and cursing and doing a lot of face acting. A lot of floating around in both films. I had no interest in seeing The Butler. Blue Jasmine was pretty good, although not as funny, not as interesting, not as good as other recent Woody Allen films. Today I watched Dallas Buyers Club which featured an emaciated, gaunt, pale and scabby Matthew McConaughey in yet another Academy Award nominated* performance for Best Actor. In this case, I am underwhelmed for a different reason. DBC is the true story of someone facing certain death and looking mortality in the eye and persevering and rising above the odds...sound familiar? As with the handful of other films that have garnered early awards recognition, Fruitvale Station, The Butler, Rush, Captain Phillips, 12 Years A Slave, Lone Survivor to name a few, it is recognized that if you make a somber, important movie about a somber, important event and dramatize it to it's full Oscar potential, you're good. Unfortunately, Matthew McConaughey's best film this year was Mud which will probably get overlooked because it's a smaller film, a smaller story and more noticeably a fictional story. This falls in line with the other movies I was more excited about this year so far and to come, Her, American Hustle, and Nebraska to name a few.

But in the end, it doesn't matter. I love movies and even if there were 100 absolutely awful movies released this year, I will just come back next year to see what else is out there. I'm not all that worried about not liking what I'm supposed to like and appreciate because of its importance. For some reason, I have never been too fond of biographies, documentaries and films "based on a true story." I like fiction because you can come in as a fan completely unbiased, completely free of that anchor that "films based on a true story" always carry with them because naturally someone will have heard the "real story" on NPR or read an article about it online somewhere and go "Psshh, well you know, that's not what really happened" or the opposite, and watch Tom Hanks be heroic when in real life, his crew is suing him for ignoring orders and putting them in danger with the threat of pirates looming for them in the open seas. I have always enjoyed fiction more, possibly because my life is unexciting and I enjoy diving into a completely new, original world as opposed to being beat on the head and reminded of how horrible some event in history was and made to watch a two and a half hour dramatization of it. With Mud, which will probably end up being in my top ten of the year, I got a movie about friendship, hero worship, love and adventure all wrapped up in an awesome small genre film without being burdened about its real-world implications. No doubt, Ron Woodruff is a real life hero, his struggle inspired and helped a lot of people, but reading the story, you can't help but think how perfect it would be as a movie. Hopefully the engravers of the Oscar statues know how to spell "McConaughey".

*Projected (Stay tuned for the LDB,BL Oscar Predictions post, coming soon, I'm sure.)
**Last year, while watching the Oscars telecast, some guy sitting next to me at my friends house, right when Argo won for Best Picture, said, "That's so fucking stupid, that's the one that won?" I asked what he thought should've won and he said, "Well...I didn't see any of the other ones but they look better than Argo." I asked, "Did you see Argo?" He, of course, said "No." So that's why I rarely trust anybody's opinion on movies.

A Quick Appreciation Of Hal Hartley

There's a scene in Hal Hartley's 2006 film Fay Grim where Parker Posey is asked "Fay? Are you okay?" This is a question that can be asked in almost every one of Hartley's films. His movies are populated with people who are always in the midst of a crisis. He makes movies about men who are too smart, too complicated, too big for the world around them. They always seem to be waiting for the rest of the world to catch up to them. They're too intelligent by far, attractive, handy, self-reliant, dangerous, deadpan humorous and always preoccupied with the inner workings of things, always waxing philosophically about life, the universe and everything else. The men in his films always encounter strong, complex women who are a match for their curious, awkward, stilted attempts at figuring out life. The romance is always a little strange, quirky before the word meant what it does now, and doomed. As with most auteurs, one assumes that his characters are slightly removed versions of their creator, and not surprisingly, Hartley married an actress he worked with in his 1995 film Flirt.

Hartley's brilliance as a filmmaker lies in his writing. Since his first film in 1988, The Unbelievable Truth, his signature style has been evident, and still continues with his latest, 2012's Meanwhile. His characters speak in a poetic, sometimes jarring start-stop rhythm as if they're performing live for an audience. They speak fast, always bouncing back and forth off each other, theatrically enunciating and gesturing, almost as if allowing for a laugh track to come in or a live adjustment to be made. Talking is what most of Hartley's characters do best. In 1998's The Book Of Life, Jesus (Martin Donovan) and Mary Magdalen (PJ Harvey) ponder humanity and whether or not to trigger the apocalypse at the millenium and argue with Satan (Thomas Jay Ryan) about opening a program on an Apple laptop computer that will do so. In Flirt, 3 separate characters live their romantic lives in 3 different cities using the same dialogue. People seem to rarely be standing still in Hartley's movies, as if stopping would be akin to drowning. In fact, most of his characters are either running to or from something. A running theme in Hartley's work seems to be men who are perceived as dangerous always trying to escape or talk their way out of trouble. In the film No Such Thing, Sarah Polley is sent to Iceland to find a monster who killed her fiance. The monster, played by Robert John Burke, a frequent Hartley collaborator, is a sensitive, lonely, misunderstood creature who is at odds with the world because of his appearance and struggles to connect with Polley's character who tries to get him to come back to New York with her. In Simple Men, two brothers, played by Burke and Bill Sage, set off to find their fugitive father, a formerly famous mad genius. They argue, talk, philosophize, contemplate and argue some more. Continuing the theme of fugitive geniuses, 1997's Henry Fool, which is still considered Hartley's masterwork, concerns a mysterious stranger who arrives in the lives of the Grim family. Henry is a loud, garish, blustery writer who claims to have written the great novel of his time. He wreaks havoc on the Grim family, both inspiring and incriminating Simon, a bland garbageman who crafts a poem under the influence of Henry that makes him an instant star in the literary world, something that Fool could never achieve. Henry makes claims of having the secrets of the universe if people would just listen to him, for his genius and his bravado are always questioned. He eventually seduces and impregnates Simon's sister Fay, played by a fantastic Parker Posey, who would get her own story in 2006's Fay Grim but not before sleeping with their unstable mother in full view of Fay. In Fay Grim, it's many years later and Fay is being hounded by numerous state, federal and international agencies who want her help finding Henry's notebooks, which they believe hold state secrets. We learn more about the absent Henry, who since the end of Fool is on the run with the help of Simon, who is now in prison. Hartley writes fast and furious, his characters almost tripping over themselves in conversation, and Posey puts in the best performance of her career and that of anyone in Hartley's films in Fay Grim. She embodies everything that's great about Hartley and will soon be back to complete the family trilogy.

While the first focused on Henry and the second told Fay's story, the upcoming third film will feature the now 18 year old Ned, the son of Henry and Fay. It was just announced that Hartley is turning to Kickstarter, which he was able to successfully finance Meanwhile through to make Ned Rifle. Ned Rifle will tell the story of young Ned setting out on a journey to find his father and kill him for the trouble he has brought to the Grim family. It pretty much marks off everything on the Hal Hartley checklist and I for one can't wait. All the principles are on board and hopefully Hartley can find the amount he needs to get this going. The world created in these two films so far is fantastically woven, full of the extraordinarily mundane right next to the just plain extraordinary. Fay Grim is shot almost completely in what I learned is called Dutch angles, with the vast majority of the films scenes tilted precariously, so every shot looks as if it's on the verge of sliding away into something else if the characters don't finish their scenes quickly enough. It's sneakily tense and straddles the line between drama and tragicomedy. Henry Fool, made in the heyday of American indie film, looks slightly more aged but lacks none of the signature wit and storytelling that makes Hartley so brilliant. He birthed a world in Fool that will be continued in Ned Rifle and I can hardly wait. If you aren't familiar, I highly suggest delving into the world of Hartley. A double feature of Henry Fool and Fay Grim is as good a place to start as any.

New Music Roundup

I've been slacking lately on music, I've mostly been content with listening to my old CDs and the stuff I have stocked up in my iTunes. I haven't got any fresh blood in there in a while since I've been so busy listening to all of my sports podcasts. Those take up most of my time. But I've got a few new album additions that will be added to the rotation:

iTunes SESSION - Frank Turner
Frank Turner is one of my new favorites, definitely on heavy rotation the last few years. The man is prolific, constantly putting out albums, EPs and collections full of stripped down punk rock flush with all the passion, heart and dedication that makes punk rock work. This small collection is culled mostly from his newest LP, TAPE DECK HEART, but the best track is the older "Photosynthesis," in which Turner sings defiantly about refusing to give in and grow up just quite yet when he is still willing and able to do what he loves, singing and playing guitar, exactly what he's doing here.

LINDSEY STIRLING - Lindsey Stirling
A friend at work turned me onto Lindsey Stirling who I found out is a strange mix of dancer, composer and violinist. Her videos display her skills at all three of those disciplines. This album is a retooled version of her debut release, layering her swooping, swirling and soaring violin over rhythmic electronic tracks. She dabbles in Dubstep (I admittedly still don't really know what Dubstep is) EDM, Hip-Hop and classical, all with no lyrics and this album is really enjoyable. I have it attached to a long playlist that I keep on all night and these songs always provide a nice change of pace. And she's cute as a button.

BLACK SWEATER MASSACRE - The Reigning Monarchs
I love this group. The Reigning Monarchs are Greg Behrendt and Mike Eisenstein but as a proud Cuddlah, I'm all about Behrendt. He is a stand-up comic and author (He's Just Not That Into You) but frequently states that if he could only do one thing the rest of his life, it would be playing music. In addition to his podcast, Walking The Room, this is his passion project. The Monarchs play an instrumental mix of vintage surf, punk, ska and even a little heavy metal; it's fun and fast and loud with truly great musicianship, not just Good-For-A-Vanity-Side-Project quality. They've put out a number of EPs and splits and this is their second full length album. It was partially Kickstarter funded and delayed a little bit but it was worth the wait. One iTunes reviewer says "Black Sweater Massacre plays and I am instantly a sunglass-wearing Cali punk creature of infinite cool" which is better than I could ever put it myself.

Weekends blah, amiright?

Not really, I had my first weekend off in about 9 months last week and it was glorious. I felt so free enjoying two days off in a row with the rest of the world.

One of the bad things about weekends, besides the constantly having to work them part, is no one on my blogroll updates on them. Seriously guys, I'm bored at work, give me something new to read! There's always Longreads of course, but I generally don't have THAT much time. I'm constantly refreshing looking for a new random table or some new, otherworldly monster for D&D. Sure i could just write my own, but I'm far too lazy for that. All the bitching being said here's a new monster:

BOOK FIEND (great name right?)

This lesser fiend looks like a wizard's lost spellbook except this of course is a trap. The clever devil uses the disguise to feed on the wonder and possibility that race through the reader's mind. It's "pages" have an illusion cast upon them that reads as whatever the victim imagined to be inside the pages in the first place. Victims are stuck in this trance until broken bu outside contact or until they die of hunger.
Barbarians and other characters with less than 8 Intelligence don't fall for the illusion and see the fiend as just a mundane book. If a player comes upon the fiend feeding on another being they can make a WIS/INT check to discern its real nature.

Magic Users could possibly command the fiend to tap into the memories and lives by making a Save vs. Magic at -2. Success means gaining a random spell of level 1d6 (stronger wizards don't fuck with the monster and thus won't lose any spells). Failure means losing a random prepared spell with another Save vs. Magic to see if that spell is burned out of their memory and unusable forever.

Any further attempts at domination must be made at a cumulative extra -2. If all spells are burned out of the character's mind then they can never cast again and go insane at the trauma of losing their connection to ultimate power.